I needed a little liquid courage to put this on paper. (Besides it’s always much grittier, less polished and pretty, like real life.) But he said no. Nobody can know...
Flutter, In Out: Epilepsy
I sat there watching it flutter ever so slightly… down, up, down, up… Brief inhale, long exhale. Quick to capture the air, slow to let it go. So soft and sweet I almost held my breath for fear the motion of his chest would stop. All would be paralyzed. I’d panic. Remember to beat, my heart.
Counting Pieces to Peace: Weekend Epilepsy
My Saturday revolved around a rectal syringe. (Great first line huh?) It felt dirty. Not necessarily dirty, but….. exceptionally sad. I’d tried so long to avoid it. Increasing the pills already, apparently, failing to work. Then CBD oil to no avail. And I knew I was just putting off the inevitable while having number 62, 63, 64… hearing... Continue Reading →
Seven Year Itch & Epilepsy: Happy Anniversary :)
They call it the seven year itch; well, we’re married seven years today and met nine years tomorrow. I’d say instead, it’s the “Seven year stick.”
Here's the video we played at the rollout of Orange County's Care+Cure program at the gala. UCI did a wonderful job and for those of you that don't "know me" very well, this might help! :) SO proud and privileged to be able to represent the Epilepsy community in spreading awareness. I am surrounded by so... Continue Reading →
“Living w/ Epilepsy” UCI video ft. Megan Davis
When the Superficial Isn’t: Meds & Hair
Hair- begins to represent less and less of you and more and more of your “invisible illness.” That was literally my first thought as I did my hair for the first time since I hacked off 6 inches… I mean, I’ve had long hair all my life- down to the middle of my back... Continue Reading →
A Letter to My Husband: When We Aren’t Sick Anymore
Yep, I know. I know he is. He always is. My sanity, my “life coach” on days I can’t see straight for being so depressed, my normalcy, my savior along this journey... And so this post is a letter to him. To all the unsung heroes and caretakers that bear the brunt of a disorder/disease they “acquired” by association and through……….… love.
Jagged Lines: Experiencing an aura
(image- "seizure art" courtesy of Reema Hamdan) First (not always though) comes the aura… I don’t think you can ever adequately describe an aura to someone who’s never had a seizure… It comes out of nowhere- soft, floaty, like my body’s lifting, as though weightless. And yet, I can feel just enough to know that... Continue Reading →
Trigger: 2019 It’s About Time
(I wrote this over Christmas break but never shared... late, but here it is anyways :) ) Trigger. Finger’s always there... cocked, ready. Pull! Clay shatters... grey like my brain. Hits the target, sprays, explodes. But there aren’t any clay pigeons. 2018 brought live targets... Christmas, then night one in the hospital. No electrodes, no... Continue Reading →
For Everyone: The Sun ;)
My life revolves around it. Me- singularly. If I close my eyes… No husband, no child, no job, no… whatever. Music. Any of you relate? There’s a song always for my mood. And I’ll play it- OVER and OVER- til my husband’s shaking his head and pleeeeeading for the repeat button to break. lol It’s... Continue Reading →
Magna Tiles & Pediatric Epilepsy: My Message at Care+Cure 2018
You know I was on the phone with my friend Emily two days ago telling her that I hated my speech. I’d written one and chucked that. I wrote the second one and was completely unhappy… And she said that’s because last year you told your own story and it came straight from the heart…... Continue Reading →
Epilepsy Life: Little Fighters Born Into Big Battles- And How They WIN :)
I walked along that street, oblivious to the sweat on my forehead and upper lip, loving the sunshine and the periodic breeze. But what I loved more was watching my son walk with purpose towards every house. Towards every mailbox. Towards wherever he could place one of those purple and white envelopes. He insisted on... Continue Reading →
Life, In This Together, Epilepsy & Being Human
They let me kiss her on the forehead while they held her… The sweet little baby girl. Her enamored parents. Being only a month old, hers reminded me of my son’s sweet face when he seemed so incredibly tiny and fragile. Breakable, yet little did I know how resilient he would be. And little did... Continue Reading →